Exams & me



From the time I was born, the very first thing that I started to hate was exam. My pre-school exams. I was about 3. Not even earthquakes scared me. But exams.. I would be fine the year round and fall sick only during exams. Always. This trend continued till my 10th Boards actually. But I took my exams real serious. Sick or not, never flunked them and my preparations started a month ahead.

In my Plus II, there was more focus on Coaching than school. Hardly went to school those days. It was all Coaching. In Class XI exams, I recall reaching the exam hall an hour late. I was sleeping. School actually lost its focus and school exams hardly meant anything. In Class XII, exams regained their power with everyone around me asking “Beta preparation kaisa h!”. Exams became the centrepoint of my existence.

After the Plus II Boards, I gave lots and lots of exams. That was the year 2010 and there were countless Engineering entrance exams. It was during that time that I started to feel very strongly against the overpopulation crisis in India. For every few hundred seats, there were lakhs of applicants. I considered myself ‘good and hardworking’ but then there were crores of ‘good and hardworking’ students in India. Unless you belonged to the Tata, Ambani, Birla etc families or you were super duper in PCM, it was a helpless situation. Nobody understood the woes of students. And there were lots of exams and everyone gave as many as possible.

By that time, I was so fed up of giving exams that when I finally got a seat, I was so relieved and said to myself that finally all hardcore exams are behind me and only peace lies ahead!

In a few weeks, that feeling of euphoria was shattered and torn to bits. During my exams in 1st semester, I realized what a monster I was dealing with now. All those exams I had given in my life till then, seemed nothing in front of the ones that were going on. It took almost a month to finish all the papers. And I realized it was just the start. 7 more semesters were waiting to thrash me! I used to prepare a week before the exams in 1st year but my pointers showed otherwise. They were bad.

By the time I was in 3rd year, I used to start my preparation on the night before the exam. Interestingly, my pointers improved! All the papers were sickening. Each one was a monster in itself. But by that time, monsters became common and no more scary. No matter what subject it was, it wouldn’t be studied till the last night. There were reasons for that. Firstly, I dint want to and secondly, the absurd inner confidence (that was produced by that time that no matter how fat the book would be, it would be finished(!) in one night anyhow by hook or by crook!). My friends in hostel followed the same principle.

By the time I was in final year, last night study changed to last morning study. Because we opened books in the am period. Before that, we would watch movies, gossip silly, do anything. But in the am period, we’d be seriously into the books. My pointers improved further.

I still have exams coming up this year. And some pretty important ones. But now they don’t have that impact on me. Its like I’ve given so many important exams that it hardly matters anymore. Its just another important exam.